opinion

Do you still care?

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I’m doing this post for 2 reasons…

1. This outfit is fabulous. The top and pants are straight asos tall. If you know me, you know that the asos tall line is my jam. And these shoes (enter eye bulging emoji). I am in love. They are from Smash Shoes. Again, if you know me, you know that Smash Shoes is also my jam. Quick note: order a size down in this shoe. It also comes in beige and I am here for it. Last but certainly not least...I die for these earrings! Full disclosure, my bestie makes them and she named them after me (emotional tear) but even if I didn't know her, I would buy ALL of her creations because they are fly. Actually fly doesn't even begin to describe her pieces. Don't believe me? See for yourself:-)

2. Do you care about style posts anymore?

No seriously. Be honest. I want to know.

While I will always share tall tips with you, do you still want to see what I am wearing? For me personally, I am moving into a space where my overall life is far more important than what I put on.

Gasp. Try not to fall out. Hold yourself up. It’s going to be ok.

I have a lot of life changes going on. Some amazing. Some very unpleasant. But the one thing that I know, is that the important things are being highlighted in the most vibrant way and clothing really isn’t anywhere in the top 10 right now. Do I strongly like clothing? Heck yes. Do I think I will die without it? Heck no.

So basically, I wanted to see if you were on the same wave. I feel like the Cinderella days of style blogs are over. Style posts or not, my evolution will be televised on TallSWAG. I’m going to do what I want to do, when I feel like doing it but I’m highly curious about your thoughts.

Let a tall girl know…are you still into what people are wearing? Por que?

Say My Name

 
Tall suit -  ASOS /Tall Bodysuit -  ASOS /Necklace -  Candid Art /Shoes - Calvin Klein via Nordstrom Rack  Photography and makeup -  Nikki Notarte

Tall suit - ASOS/Tall Bodysuit - ASOS/Necklace - Candid Art/Shoes - Calvin Klein via Nordstrom Rack

Photography and makeup - Nikki Notarte

Today I presented a concept at work that I have been cultivating for over 2 years now. It was the 4th time I had pitched the idea and I’m happy to report that it was well received. I was and am elated that my idea will go in to motion but I realized something about my presentation today that was and is incredibly disturbing…

I never put my name on it.

Somehow I believed that my idea that I had poured into, crafted and toiled to bring to the surface didn’t deserve my name.

Yes. This could be an honest mistake but “mistakes” like these often have a deeper meaning.

I, like probably every woman on the planet, have had to fight at times for my opinion to be taken seriously because I am a woman. I have been undervalued simply because of my gender. There have even been times when the good ol boys club purposefully excluded me from information that was imperative to my success. And the list unfortunately goes on…

All of these things are hurtful and silently damaging to the strongest of women. They chip away at you and if you aren’t careful dry rot your confidence. You start second guessing yourself and before you know it, adopt the exact insecurities they are dealing and leave your name off of your masterpiece.

What we need to realize is that the club rejects us for a reason; we are a clear and present threat. The people that discriminate against women, both consciously and subconsciously, do it because THEY are insecure. It’s a symptom of their sick ideology. It’s not for you to understand but it’s certainly something that you can’t consume. Leave it right there on the table.

I say this as someone who let it get to me, gave in from time to time and believed the lies to her core. I let them use my strength against me but NO MAS.

I will stand up for myself, know I am fully capable, continually voice my opinions and protect my space at all costs. This woman is here to roar and most certainly will use a permanent marker to write her full government name on anything she accomplishes.

Get out those sharpies ladies…it’s time to sign your names like you have never signed before! We have a lot of ground to cover. I say we start with their foreheads ;-)

 

Blindsided

Photo Credit: MyFatPocket

Photo Credit: MyFatPocket

I am a great woman.

This is not self-centered, this is a fact. I have crafted her over 36 years and I am pleased with her. Do I have my faults? You better believe it. But the fact remains that I am certain that I am someone that God is proud of, that I am proud of and I continually work to make great.

Then why in the Sam Hill am I single?

I see women, every single day, getting swooped up and carted off to what appears to be a happily ever after. Meanwhile, I’m walking through a sea of men who seem to be blind to my presence. No matter what I do, they refuse to see me…

or is it simply that THEY CANT.

A man (or woman) will never see you if they are not looking for you. They literally have you blocked out. If they are not seeking or are intimidated by your attributes, they are blind to your presence no matter how amazing you are. In no way does this lessen your greatness; it just means that your view is not meant for them.

Whatever you do, do not fight for their sight. That is something you can never change. Simply continue to be and work on you, until the crisp clear vision or your person locks into place. You want that vision to be crystal because impaired site ultimately causes damage.

Remember those happily ever after moments that you keep seeing? Some of those may be a blurred mess of motions. Not everyone seeks clarity these days. Many settle for unclear intentions, that stop short of what they know they deserve, to attain temporary comfort. Don’t ever assume that their grass is greener.

The others are really, truly happy! And this is what we should all want for each other. Celebrate love and wait for your own tailor-made story. Not another one will ever be written in the same way. Relish in the fact that when it comes, it will be for you and him only.

Now, here comes the hard part…

What is your blinder?

Yes. We can have them too and quite frankly, they could be blocking you from seeing your person. Maybe you acquired your blinder through pain. Maybe it covers your eyes through pride. It quite possibly could have been placed by someone else and you just don’t have the strength to lift it yet. Maybe you don’t have one at all and you are completely open to encounter the very one who is meant to see you.

All of these are possibilities but it’s up to you to pinpoint, diagnose and repair if needed. Do not be the one that is walking around these crazy streets blind. You will never paint a clear picture with anyone until you gain personal clarity.

Continue your work in progress. Effort diligently, with intention, in prayer and continue to walk forward in faith. He promises that it will all unfold in your favor!

I Wish I Could Find Your Tall Shop

The absolutely amazing Marsha Campbell of the fab blog Style of a London Tall Girl, is featured in Amazon Fashion Europe's I Wish I Could Wear That campaign. The campaign pairs three style icons with three women who are struggling with their style voices. I applaud the campaign and I love that they used Marsha to be the strong, tall figure in the piece. She is a fabulous woman, amazing blogger and I love her style!

BUT...where is your tall shop Amazon Fashion Europe? I see plus size but no tall shop. Like most retailers (including the overall Amazon Fashion whom also does not have a Tall section) out there, you do not have a category for us nor an ample selection of true tall styles. Do you have some tall options? Yes. However they are few and far between. They are mostly 34" inseam pants and I had to put TALL into the search to find those. I love that you want women to be able to wear what they love but can tall women do that with the selection on your site? 

Again, kudos to Amazon Fashion Europe for empowering women to break the societal style rules and rock what they want to but if you are going to disseminate the message, please carry the tall clothing that enables me to do that. Now that you know better, please do better.

So with that said...

Dear Amazon Fashion Europe and all retailers,

We deserve a realistic, stylish selection and category too.  

Signed, Tall Girls Everywhere

The Dogs That Bark

"You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks." -Winston Churchill

This past weekend I was in Vegas during the Mayweather vs. Maidana fight. As you can imagine there were a ton of people in town. I mean it was packed everywhere you went. Now you know, with a lot of people, come a lot of stares and ridiculous comments. I couldn't walk 5 feet without catching someone pointing at me or hearing those loud whispers they think we are deaf to. Some people just outright screamed from across the room dang you tall girl. It was a display of tall ignorance at it's worst.

Normally I let the comments roll off my back. But I have to say for the first time in a long time it bothered me. Not annoyed me...straight made me upset and ready to lash out at every single person who did anything in reaction to my God given inches.

I was pissed.

I started calling out people, checking them and returning their rudeness with some vile rudeness of my own. I morphed into one of them for a brief moment.

How dare I let them win.

While I internally calmed myself down, I thought about the time and energy it took to reciprocate their remarks. It was a sheer waste of time and the only person it hurt was myself. My blood pressure went up, ugly words invaded my mind and spilled out of my mouth and I became what they wanted me to become.

While it was only for a brief moment, I remember when I lived life like this. I let every comment and stare feed my depression. Yes, we are all human. Yes, we will have moments. But what you must stop, RIGHT NOW, is living a life where you stop for every dog that barks.

With the gift of height, comes some challenging moments BUT the blessings far outweigh the rough patches. If you focus on the rough moments, you will live a rough life. If you focus on the blessing, you will live a blessed life. I know, I know. How cliché of me. This may be something that many people say but that doesn't make it any less true.

So stand tall, hold that head high and walk past those barking dogs with the fiercest walk possible. I guarantee you...it will silence them faster than any stone will.

 

Boxed Out

Photo credit: Dreamstime.comPicture it.  I’m walking to lunch with my friend Sabrina and this man comes up to us with that look.  You know the one that people have when they are about to unleash every tall question in the world.

So I try the pre-emptive strike.  Before he can even form his mouth the say a question I say 6’6”.  Usually that will stun them and make them incapable of asking anymore questions but unfortunately this man was too strong for my tactics.

He asks 'why you ain’t playing basketball and dunking on people?' followed by 3 more idiotic questions.

After contemplating on merely asking him 'why you ain’t using correct grammar?' I then said (well it was actually more of a stern yell), 'why aren’t you asking me if I am a lawyer, a doctor or any other of the millions of occupations out there?' He had nothing to say back about that. 

The conversation enraged me.   Not only was his delivery wrong but his way of thinking was just ignorant.  I started thinking about all of the times that people make those assumptions about us and the feeling that I felt during my early years of playing basketball started rushing back to me.

I modeled at an early age but was constantly told that I HAD to play basketball.  As you may have gathered, I am not really big on demands or boxes so I was completely against playing the game.  After years and years of people pressuring me, I gave in.  Did I find that I loved the game?  Yes.  Did I start playing because I wanted to?  No.

Because I started so late, I was constantly playing catch-up.  That combined with the assumption that I had to be good based on my height, resulted in many dark days.  The pressure was insurmountable at times.  When I think about certain instances, I can still feel it (tearing up as we speak).  While I am thankful for my path and learned from every step, that doesn’t negate the fact that I chose basketball because someone else selected it for me.

I say all of that to say this; never pressure anyone to do what you THINK they should do and never put yourself in a box that someone else has created.  Regardless of what people think you should do with your height, YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS (Philippians 4:13). 

God doesn’t create all tall people to do one thing.  He creates us to live out our dreams just like everyone else.  He gives us the tools to accomplish exactly what we are placed on this earth to do.  If it’s basketball that’s great!  But it doesn’t have to be.

Dream, create and live in YOUR purpose.  Walk right by the silly people who are staring at their boxes and create a story that has endless possibilities.