She was bold and did something out of her ordinary. What happens is not necessarily the outcome that I wanted, but I’m still glad that I got out of my comfort zone and tried something new. Who knows. Maybe I will run into Albuquerque again some day (insert shrug).
I have learned many lessons in my life, especially in the last year. They were all completely necessary and vital to the success of my purpose. Perhaps the most powerful fact that I gained this season is to be thankful for the closed doors.
After I resigned from my job, I mourned the closed door for 3 solid months. I stood there looking at it hoping that in some way the door would crack open, the uncomfortable comfort would seep out and I would be who I thought I was supposed to be again. There came a moment when the grief was exhausting and I took a baby step away, then another and another. The door slowly but surely faded into the background of the beautiful hallway that I was traveling down. I failed to see it because I was too busy looking at a rickety, old, dilapidated door that was doing nothing for me and hadn’t served me for years even when I was inside of it.
That closed door introduced me to a gorgeous life. Without it, I would never have seen the beauty of the current day. I am so incredibly thankful for it. As a matter of fact when a door is closing, I slam that bad boy shut, seal it with nails and block myself from ever walking into that exit again. Some would call it cut throat. I call it clear direction. Closed doors create intentional forward movement because the only option you should make, is to walk away from them.
But of course as humans, not only do we stand there and look at the door, we also do everything in our power to pry it open. We will literally harm ourselves to get a glimpse of what God no longer wants us to see. About an hour ago, God closed a door for me. In the past I would have lunged at the knob and used all of my might to keep it open but instead I thanked God for His decision and wished the door well. I bid it adieu and kept it moving.
I can’t tell you how good it feels to know that I am walking towards the doors God wants me to walk through instead of entertaining the ones that are departed.
There are literally people (I was one of them) that reside in dead doorways. We fear whats on the other side of them so much, that we stay stagnant. We incarcerate our purpose in a memory.
I say all that to say this: don’t be that person.
There is no time to delay. Start following the map that God has literally laid out for you with every single closed door. While they don’t always make sense, they are concluded to create movement. Thank them for the experience and move onward my friend.
I am a great woman.
This is not self-centered, this is a fact. I have crafted her over 36 years and I am pleased with her. Do I have my faults? You better believe it. But the fact remains that I am certain that I am someone that God is proud of, that I am proud of and I continually work to make great.
Then why in the Sam Hill am I single?
I see women, every single day, getting swooped up and carted off to what appears to be a happily ever after. Meanwhile, I’m walking through a sea of men who seem to be blind to my presence. No matter what I do, they refuse to see me…
or is it simply that THEY CANT.
A man (or woman) will never see you if they are not looking for you. They literally have you blocked out. If they are not seeking or are intimidated by your attributes, they are blind to your presence no matter how amazing you are. In no way does this lessen your greatness; it just means that your view is not meant for them.
Whatever you do, do not fight for their sight. That is something you can never change. Simply continue to be and work on you, until the crisp clear vision or your person locks into place. You want that vision to be crystal because impaired site ultimately causes damage.
Remember those happily ever after moments that you keep seeing? Some of those may be a blurred mess of motions. Not everyone seeks clarity these days. Many settle for unclear intentions, that stop short of what they know they deserve, to attain temporary comfort. Don’t ever assume that their grass is greener.
The others are really, truly happy! And this is what we should all want for each other. Celebrate love and wait for your own tailor-made story. Not another one will ever be written in the same way. Relish in the fact that when it comes, it will be for you and him only.
Now, here comes the hard part…
What is your blinder?
Yes. We can have them too and quite frankly, they could be blocking you from seeing your person. Maybe you acquired your blinder through pain. Maybe it covers your eyes through pride. It quite possibly could have been placed by someone else and you just don’t have the strength to lift it yet. Maybe you don’t have one at all and you are completely open to encounter the very one who is meant to see you.
All of these are possibilities but it’s up to you to pinpoint, diagnose and repair if needed. Do not be the one that is walking around these crazy streets blind. You will never paint a clear picture with anyone until you gain personal clarity.
Continue your work in progress. Effort diligently, with intention, in prayer and continue to walk forward in faith. He promises that it will all unfold in your favor!
First and foremost…last night was amazing! All of your support and well wishes for the debut of the Tallest Virgin in the World pilot means the world to me. Overall I was very pleased with the episode and completely in awe of the opportunity that God has given me to show the real life of a tall, single, virgin. I can’t wait to see what happens next!
However, I do want to make one thing clear…
My virginity is very important to me. I am looking for love, marriage and THEN sharing everything with the love of my life which includes my virginity. I am saving it for him and only him. I am not in a rush to lose it but giving myself a time frame to find love is something that I am trying because it makes me step outside of my dating comfort zone and approach finding love in a different way than I have in the past. If it works, amazing! If it doesn’t, on to the next plan. Regardless, I can’t wait to share every step with you.
Again, thank you for everything! Please put in those prayers that it gets picked up for series and I will be sure to keep you updated:)
You are amazing...I couldn't do this without you!
I have been wanting to tell you about this for SO LONG and now I can spill the beans! I have been working on a project for some time now and it's finally here...
I shot a pilot for Lifetime (which also happens to be the same title as my book) called The Tallest Virgin in the World. It's a half hour show that features 6'4" Talltique owner Helen Pappas, the fabulous 6'6" Sydney Wilson and myself. It's about the real life of tall, single women and I am honored to be a part of it.
It airs THIS WEDNESDAY on Lifetime at 11/10c. I can't wait to share it with you! Please tell me what you think and look out for my #TallestVirgin recap on TallSWAG the morning after (Thursday).
Thank you so much for your support! I look forward to your thoughts about the show and God willing we will be talking about a series in the future:)