godfidence

Keep the Door Closed

Photo by the one and only Alina Mamlyuk

Photo by the one and only Alina Mamlyuk

I have learned many lessons in my life, especially in the last year. They were all completely necessary and vital to the success of my purpose. Perhaps the most powerful fact that I gained this season is to be thankful for the closed doors.

After I resigned from my job, I mourned the closed door for 3 solid months. I stood there looking at it hoping that in some way the door would crack open, the uncomfortable comfort would seep out and I would be who I thought I was supposed to be again. There came a moment when the grief was exhausting and I took a baby step away, then another and another. The door slowly but surely faded into the background of the beautiful hallway that I was traveling down. I failed to see it because I was too busy looking at a rickety, old, dilapidated door that was doing nothing for me and hadn’t served me for years even when I was inside of it.

That closed door introduced me to a gorgeous life. Without it, I would never have seen the beauty of the current day. I am so incredibly thankful for it. As a matter of fact when a door is closing, I slam that bad boy shut, seal it with nails and block myself from ever walking into that exit again. Some would call it cut throat. I call it clear direction. Closed doors create intentional forward movement because the only option you should make, is to walk away from them.

But of course as humans, not only do we stand there and look at the door, we also do everything in our power to pry it open. We will literally harm ourselves to get a glimpse of what God no longer wants us to see. About an hour ago, God closed a door for me. In the past I would have lunged at the knob and used all of my might to keep it open but instead I thanked God for His decision and wished the door well. I bid it adieu and kept it moving.

I can’t tell you how good it feels to know that I am walking towards the doors God wants me to walk through instead of entertaining the ones that are departed.

There are literally people (I was one of them) that reside in dead doorways. We fear whats on the other side of them so much, that we stay stagnant. We incarcerate our purpose in a memory.

I say all that to say this: don’t be that person.

There is no time to delay. Start following the map that God has literally laid out for you with every single closed door. While they don’t always make sense, they are concluded to create movement. Thank them for the experience and move onward my friend.

Audience of One

Photo - Nikki NotarteEntire outfit - Long Tall Sally

Photo - Nikki Notarte

Entire outfit - Long Tall Sally

To say that this time of my life has been formative is an understatement. It’s been almost 7 months of discovering things about myself that I never would have if I didn’t follow the step of obedience of resigning from the job that I had for 13 years.

It’s been beautiful. It’s been terrifying. It’s been a ball of every emotion that you could ever have. There are so many unknowns in my path but the one thing that I do know is; I am on the right one.

I have been grinding behind the scenes on some pretty amazing things. As an entrepreneur you always have multiple irons in the fire. Some of them come to fruition, some aren’t meant to be and most you have to relentlessly pursue and simply make them happen. As they say, often the ones that succeed aren’t the first to do it, they are just the people that never gave up. 

And I am one of those people. I won’t give up on the things that God told me to do but that doesn’t mean that I don’t feel every emotion while I am doing it. I have felt the warmth of joy and the sting of tears running down my cheeks on a regular basis. I don’t care how much faith you have, nobody is immune to feeling feelings.

With that breakdown in tow, fear is the main culprit right now. Not a fear of God not coming through but more a sheer fear of what people are thinking of my path.

Is she crazy? What is she even doing? Is she just sitting at home? She made a mistake. She isn’t a success.

All of these statements flow through my mind and at times have literally kept me captive. Not since I found my confidence have I cared what people thought, until now. 

So I sat with those feels for awhile. I interviewed them, broke bread with them and stared intently into their eyes so that I could figure out a way to handle them. You see. Feelings will always be there. You must pinpoint a way to get them on the side of right.

Every analysis boiled down to this fact: God is the only audience we should care about.

If God tells you to do it, no matter what it may look like to the world, do it for His applause and his applause only. No worldly opinion should matter. Do not let yourself, social media, haters or even friends and family supersede the ovation of God. No matter the size of the stage you find yourself on, let His claps guide the way to His purpose for your life.

So moving forward, let’s mute the approval of the world and look to God for everything that we need. Stand tall in the certainty that there is only one stamp of approval you need and that is from Him.

Moving forward I will be adding an audio version of my blogs for the visually impaired (or any else that wants to listen instead of read:). Thank you for the suggestion Patricia! I am sorry I didn’t think of it before!

Just Give me the Light

Warning. I really liked this outfit and photos so there are a plethora of them. Like 12. There is also different lighting in almost every photo because the sun was going bananas. It’s cool though because it shows you that you should never compare yourself to others because what you are comparing yourself to could just be great lighting. Love yourself, love your lane and by all means, take 1000 selfies in some bomb lighting. Let’s get to outfit shall we?…

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Can we talk about this jean jacket? It’s from Alloy (which is clearly one of my favorite tall retailers). Also, If you have been on their site, the beautiful Jamie Lea is rocking it in the fiercest way possible. As you can see on her and I, this jacket has an amazing cut and is super flattering. Alloy really constructed it right. It’s tall in the right places. You know what I mean. Some “tall” clothes out there are just tall all over. The arms, the body, even the dang pockets are over cut. This jacket does not do that. I love the wash, quality and price. It’s only $64.90. Also, Alloy always has some sort of amazing coupon code so if you don’t see it on their site, google that bad boy.

I’m geeked about the jacket and also pumped about the sneakers…here’s why…

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As you may or may have not seen, I recently took a trip to the Nike World Campus in my hometown of Beaverton, Oregon to visit one of my High School basketball coaches. His name is Sam McCracken. He was a great coach and now he is the founder, General Manager and visionary of the Nike N7 fund and collection. These kicks (specifically the Nike Air Huarache City Utility Premium N7) are one of my favorites from the line. I love them but I love what they do even more. All of the proceeds from the Huarache (and entire line), are given back to youth sport and physical activity programs in the Native American Community. The line is fire and the power of change that it provides is phenomenal. I am so proud of my coach and his entire team for all that they do.

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Whhhhhhew that was a lot of scrolling. I hope you are still with me!

I seriously love this outfit because it’s very much the direction I am going with my style. I am changing in so many ways right now and the way I am dressing is one of them. This is me 76% of the time (hence the 1000th time you have seen these skinny jeans).

I look forward to sharing all of these changes with you and what I am rockin along the way. Thank you for being there, thank you for being you, thank you for giving me your light and love. I appreciate it more than you will ever know.

Winter Werk

Hey! It’s been a minute. I’m working hard and for me that meant I had to step away from the blog for a moment to lay a foundation. I had to plan some things, connect with a lot of people, present some concepts and prepare like no other. I have also been applying to programs that will strengthen my knowledge and preparation. Basically, I have been out here hustlin.

While I was hustlin, I asked you on IG what you wanted to see more of and overwhelmingly you said jeans, shoes and coats. I will be working to bring you more coverage of all of those things but it’s cold right now so let’s start off with an amazing tall coat

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This beauty right here is the Teddy Bear Faux Fur coat from Long Tall Sally. It really is soft like a teddy bear, the proportions are spot on (meaning the arms and body are actually long enough) and it’s timeless. I love the color and it’s super warm. Everything I need in outerwear this season. You will probably see me wearing it a lot in the coming months. When I like something, I stick to it.

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It just so happens that I am also wearing the other 2 items you wanted to see (don’t worry, there will be many more). While I have already showed both on the blog, I think they deserve another mention don’t you?

Hey skinny jeans! These are haute, go with anything and I love the rip detail in the appropriate places. They go up to a 38” inseam. Check out all of the skinny jean options HERE. Including these maternity options that I was so excited to see (NOT BECAUSE I’M PREGNANT BECAUSE I AM FAR FROM IT LOL) because it’s hard out there for expecting Tall mamas.

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I will be werking this coat all winter and want to see your favorite LTS winter looks. In fact, you can enter to win your own winter wardrobe from Long Tall Sally! Check out THE CHRISTMAS SHOP for more details about the #MerryEverything contest.

Great luck on winning the wardrobe…talk to you soon beautiful!

Speak Up

When I saw this jumpsuit, I literally shed a tall tear. Yes. I am emotional by nature. Sappy commercials can trigger watery eyes but this jumpsuit called out to me. It was like hey Alicia girl! Not only is it animal print (which you know I live for), it’s also LONG ENOUGH in every way. You wanna hear the most amazing part? It was only $29. That’s not a typo my friend.

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Now. Don’t hate me…but this beauty was so popular that it flew off the shelf before I could shoot it BUT it’s just one of the many pieces that are the new COLLUSION line from ASOS. The site describes the line as:

A new brand for the coming-of-age generation that refuses to compromise on principle or style, COLLUSION believes clothes that celebrate self-expression and inclusivity should be the norm. It's no surprise then that it's linked up with six inspirational creatives to shape its first collection, which includes denim, knitwear, dresses and loads more.

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Now apparently this was made for something called the Gen Z that apparently I am aged out of but I don’t give a dang. I really like a lot of the pieces and will rock them as my older self pleases. The design and the price are winners for this lady.

I also love that they had a collective of six young designers, models, artists, and influencers that created the line. That is dope. Creative collaboration is my jam. Let’s just pray that ASOS calls me to help create their next Tall line. *speaks it into existence*

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Now, let’s talk about these beautiful sock boots. They are from none other than Payless. Payless has been a staple in my closet since I was young. As a whipper snapper, not only were they the only shoes my Mom could afford, they were also the only ones that could fit. They have been holding it down for size 10-13 for years and continue to step their game up design wise. These joints are a testament to that.

While we are speaking things into existence, Holla at me Payless! We have a capsule collection to make, as well as a sick commercial that I have already scripted. Let’s do this!

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See…they really are long enough. I knew you were wondering.

See…they really are long enough. I knew you were wondering.

Photos and MUA by Nikki NotarteTall COLLUSION Jumpsuit - ASOS (sold out. Check out the new line here)/Brash Women’s Xaya Pointed-Toe Sock Boots - Payless (shown in size 12)/Belt - Thrifted/Hoops - Forever 21

Photos and MUA by Nikki Notarte

Tall COLLUSION Jumpsuit - ASOS (sold out. Check out the new line here)/Brash Women’s Xaya Pointed-Toe Sock Boots - Payless (shown in size 12)/Belt - Thrifted/Hoops - Forever 21

I will be rocking this jumpsuit a lot. That $29 will be put to good use! Don’t be surprised if you see me running down the street wearing the suit, some sneakers and a faux leather jacket. Yep. That’s gonna be me.

PS. If you even had a thought, even for a moment, that you shouldn’t wear this much print…THROW THAT THOUGHT OUT THE WINDOW AND RUN OVER IT. You can wear whatever you please. Give them somethin to look at hunni!

Starting Line

When I took the leap to follow my dreams, I knew it would take a lot of hard work. Being a dream slayer is a relentless pursuit of getting the bag your way, every day. I’m knocking on every door that I am passionate about, and praising God for the ones that He opens, as well as the doors he creates. It’s a faith fueled grind and I am here for every minute of it.

Perhaps the thing that is hardest, is my budget. While I was saving up for this time before, now I am living solely off of my pursuit and savings. By no means am I broke but there is still a change in the way that I spend my money. I was a baby about it at first, but I am adjusting in the best way I know how. I am well aware that I have more than most and every single day God shows me that money doesn’t make you rich. It’s a lesson that humbles me constantly. My eyes are being opened in ways that I didn’t know I desperately needed.

With that said, mixing and matching are my jam right now. The days of acquiring pieces that aren’t thoughtful are over. If I can’t wear them in every season, in multiple ways, it more than likely won’t end up in my cart. Also, I am moving into a time of living in a more minimalistic manner. I have too much stuff and it’s time to simplify everything (something exciting is on the way there so stay tuned).

Take these pants for example. I have been wearing them all summer with some sandals and a bodysuit but now that it’s fall, they will get a remix. Not only because I love them, but also because they are a pant that you can literally wear everything with.

All of these pieces are from Long Tall Sally. The construction is stellar. Wanna try their pieces on? Check to see if there is a pop-up shop near you. I’m telling you, it’s worth your time. When was the last time you walked in and were able to try everything on? It also helps to know your LTS sizing for future online orders. THE BEST part is meeting your fellow tall queens. It’s magical.

Throw on a cardigan and sneaks and walk right into fall.

Throw on a cardigan and sneaks and walk right into fall.

From a cardigan, to a blazer, to a sweatshirt, these leggings are on trend and go with everything. I have been channeling sporty spice like a mug. I’m also incredibly comfortable which has been very important to me these days. I’m working hard and not trying to be irritated by my clothing or shoes. Actually never but you know what I mean.

Now, I am going to post a thousand more pictures in this outfit because it’s a lot of work to take them (check out my IGTV episode on blog shoots on IG) AND Nikki shot some killer shots. She not only shot the photos, she also slayed the makeup. Please follow her page @TheEyeThatGetsThePicture. Enjoy the blizzard of photos and like the great blogger that I am, I will sum them all up at the end.

Side Stripe Ponte Leggings (shown in size s)/LTS Peyton Lace Detail Sneaker (shown in s size 13. I always personally size up for LTS Sneakers)/Bodysuit and necklace - Forever 21 (some of the bodysuits actually fit me. Emphasis on some.)/Block Sandal…

Side Stripe Ponte Leggings (shown in size s)/LTS Peyton Lace Detail Sneaker (shown in s size 13. I always personally size up for LTS Sneakers)/Bodysuit and necklace - Forever 21 (some of the bodysuits actually fit me. Emphasis on some.)/Block Sandals above - Target (shown in size 12).

While I definitely still have my moments of uncertainty, I rest in knowing that I am rockin whatever I wear on the right path with God leading me all of the way. I am working harder, smarter and in a fiscally responsible manner. The lessons that I am learning far outweigh the change in my payroll. God wants it ALL for me and I will faith it forward, achieving His purposes for my life along the way.

It’s the start of fall, but every day is a start of something great that God has planned for you. Whether a new path, new project, or new frame of mind, it’s never too late to start. Are you ready? Get set. Go!