love

You Never Know

Recently I had the pleasure of speaking to a group of beautiful young women at Westlake Middle School in Oakland, CA. It was an amazing afternoon of positivity that Principal Maya Taylor spearheaded. I was honored to share my story and life lessons at the first Women’s Empowerment Day at Westlake. Check this Oakland Post article out for more details on the beautiful event.

It was a complete blessing to speak to this room of young women that will change our world in so many different ways.

It was a complete blessing to speak to this room of young women that will change our world in so many different ways.

While I pray that I impacted everyone who needed it, by far, the person who was impacted most on this day was me.

While leaving my job of 13 years has been imperative and amazing, I have struggled with direction. There are so many things that I feel God wants me to do, it has been hard to trust myself to select where He wants me to go next. However while speaking at Westlake, He affirmed something in me that cannot be denied…no matter what I must continue to speak about confidence, bullying and standing tall in every way.

I literally went through (and go through) everything in my life to help build others up. It is my life’s purpose. I can see Him working through me in amazing ways. I do not know how I am going to get there but what I do know for certain is that He will make it happen in His timing. The work He has for me is great and I will trust Him through all of it. I will emphatically move my feet and let Him beautifully connect the work together for His purpose for my life.

Currently, I am in the process of revamping TallSWAG to not only be a space to stand tall in style but in all things. I aspire to inspire in all areas of life through the lens of my own. I want to do this through speaking, writing, lifestyle, events, design, travel and every other constructive way I can.

If you feel compelled to connect in any of these spaces, please do. If you have a lead, open position or idea for me that aligns with my purpose, I dang sure want to hear it. God doesn’t waste anything and maybe you are reading this right now to link me to the next step in His plan for me. You never know and I sure don’t see any harm in putting it on the table.

I want to be the light that He needs me to be and will work tirelessly to make it happen. I’m not above giving God a conduit to connect. He uses all of us and I will continue to walk down the avenues He presents to me.

info@TallSWAG.com

I Give Up

IMG_0592.JPG

Admittedly my love life has kind of sucked. There have been a lot of lows and some amazing moments which enabled me to completely understand what love is and why it is so important to have it in some capacity in your life. I have toiled over the reasons why it is taking me so long to find it. There have been tears, confusion and often times sheer anger that it has not come my way. I have had years of constant control along this road that have led me to one life-changing conclusion...

I don't have control over it at all.

Yes. My steering of the love ship has been fruitless because God is the one who should be steering it. While it may be His choice for me to be single, there is a reason for it and no matter what I do, His plan for my life will prevail. There isn't a worry, a moment of anger or a pit of confusion that will stop it, so why am I wasting that energy? Quite simply...

I. GIVE. UP.

That's right. I completely and totally give up the control to God. I lay it down right in front of Lord knowing that it was always yours in the first place. You have merely been waiting for the moment for me to give it to you. IT IS YOURS!

IMG_0593.JPG

I will not toil over it, run after it or try to figure it out. I will not plan it out in my head or orchestrate a picture in my mind of who it will be. When it comes to love, if it doesn't come from you, I don't want it. Point. Blank. Period.

I am completely open to your picture of it. I know that love will come in an unlikely package and it will be the best one that I have ever opened. God, I know that if it is in your will, it is you and you alone that will make it happen. Your will for love in my life be done.

IMG_0597.JPG

And really...this should translate to EVERYTHING in our lives. If God doesn't send it, return that bad boy right to the sender. He orchestrates everything in our lives for our good because we love Him. Control in everything is not yours, it is HIS.

This is undoubtedly easier said than done but try your hardest to take a breath, drop that elephant of anxiety from your chest and rest in His perfect timing.  The picture He paints is different for each and every one of us but one thing is for sure...they are ALL masterpieces. 

SHIRT -  God is Dope  | Shoes - Target (shown in size 12, sorry out of stock,  similar HERE ) | Ankle Pants - ASOS Tall (similar  HERE ) | Crossbody - Forever 21 | Earrings -  Candid Art   Photo credit -  Lakeela Smith

SHIRT - God is Dope | Shoes - Target (shown in size 12, sorry out of stock, similar HERE) | Ankle Pants - ASOS Tall (similar HERE) | Crossbody - Forever 21 | Earrings - Candid Art

Photo credit - Lakeela Smith

Jump For my Love

Jumpsuits.

The word alone sends a tall girl into a sweat. Say the word jump and a literal tear forms in our eyes. From few and far between to cut completely wrong, it's hard for us to find one and to find one that we like is a miracle. 

Well lookie here...I think she found one!

Photo Jun 06, 9 13 04 PM.jpg

This bad mamma jamma is from the current CURATD X Long Tall Sally collection and it does not disappoint.

If you have been reading my blog for awhile, you know I love comfort in my clothing and this jumpsuit definitely fits the bill. It's completely chic but feels like you are walking around in PJ's all day. That's a win in my book. 

I chose some sneaks from LTS as well. I love the blush color. They go with anything and in this case really set the look off. If you don't want to stay sporty, add your favorite wedges and pair of statement earrings. Boom! A whole new look.

This is just one of those pieces that is ready to go. You literally put it on and you are ready for the day. It's a great piece from a great collection. Check out this jumpsuit and the rest of the collection HERE.

Have a fabulous day gorgeous! Keep that energy around you high. Don't let anyone else's bad day bring you down, Remember, you are the gatekeeper. Keep your space beautiful just like you:)

Blindsided

Photo Credit: MyFatPocket

Photo Credit: MyFatPocket

I am a great woman.

This is not self-centered, this is a fact. I have crafted her over 36 years and I am pleased with her. Do I have my faults? You better believe it. But the fact remains that I am certain that I am someone that God is proud of, that I am proud of and I continually work to make great.

Then why in the Sam Hill am I single?

I see women, every single day, getting swooped up and carted off to what appears to be a happily ever after. Meanwhile, I’m walking through a sea of men who seem to be blind to my presence. No matter what I do, they refuse to see me…

or is it simply that THEY CANT.

A man (or woman) will never see you if they are not looking for you. They literally have you blocked out. If they are not seeking or are intimidated by your attributes, they are blind to your presence no matter how amazing you are. In no way does this lessen your greatness; it just means that your view is not meant for them.

Whatever you do, do not fight for their sight. That is something you can never change. Simply continue to be and work on you, until the crisp clear vision or your person locks into place. You want that vision to be crystal because impaired site ultimately causes damage.

Remember those happily ever after moments that you keep seeing? Some of those may be a blurred mess of motions. Not everyone seeks clarity these days. Many settle for unclear intentions, that stop short of what they know they deserve, to attain temporary comfort. Don’t ever assume that their grass is greener.

The others are really, truly happy! And this is what we should all want for each other. Celebrate love and wait for your own tailor-made story. Not another one will ever be written in the same way. Relish in the fact that when it comes, it will be for you and him only.

Now, here comes the hard part…

What is your blinder?

Yes. We can have them too and quite frankly, they could be blocking you from seeing your person. Maybe you acquired your blinder through pain. Maybe it covers your eyes through pride. It quite possibly could have been placed by someone else and you just don’t have the strength to lift it yet. Maybe you don’t have one at all and you are completely open to encounter the very one who is meant to see you.

All of these are possibilities but it’s up to you to pinpoint, diagnose and repair if needed. Do not be the one that is walking around these crazy streets blind. You will never paint a clear picture with anyone until you gain personal clarity.

Continue your work in progress. Effort diligently, with intention, in prayer and continue to walk forward in faith. He promises that it will all unfold in your favor!

#HiFelicia

I have not blogged in 16 days because I have been truly tired and uninspired. Quite frankly, I have been busy climbing out of a deep hole of perfection that I dug and then dove right in to. It's been an exhausting, yet beautiful process.

I worked incredibly hard to attain the confidence that I have now. I earned every moment of my self-esteem. While it fluctuates from time to time, it has grown in a powerful manner and wins more than it loses. I am proud of me but must continually monitor myself because while I am a great gatekeeper, I am human and life inevitably makes it's way in.

This is normal. This is life. This shouldn't be denied or disguised but from the moment I started my blog, I felt an overwhelming sense of portraying this perfect existence that is completely unrealistic. Not so much in my words, but in my photos. I started scrutinizing every pixel of the pictures. My weave had to have the perfect wave, never revealing the transitioning curls underneath the cap. My makeup had to be on point, with any unsavory blemishes shopped out. Every piece of clothing was painstakingly pressed because that is how it is in real life right? I was chasing a faux goal and it was making me rot from the inside out.

Enter social media.

The Internet's shallow ways sucked me in. I became a sucka for the gram and started comparing my photoshopped images to other photoshopped images. I was fighting fake battles that created real stress. Bit by bit, that confidence that I fought so hard to attain was crumbling and I blindly blogged right through it.

I started praying about it and God really began to show me in little-big ways how silly I had been and presented opportunities to face the fear that I had created.

One, was taking my weave out. Now listen, I am all about changing your hair. Hair really is another way to express your style. If that means adding to it, or taking away from it, please commence. However my weave was not a form off expression, it was a safety blanket. Instead of a compliment, I used it as a form of completion and that had to stop. I was enormously uncomfortable and had literal anxiety attacks but it was something that had to be done. Taking my weave out and rocking my natural curls has stretched me in countless ways and continues to do. While you will see me change my styles up, I can say that I will not depend on one, nor hair in it's entirety, to define me.

I then stopped aggressively photoshopping my photos. I still play with light and clean up the background but for the most part they are raw. The last 5 style posts reflect this ongoing change.

Dating completely transformed. I realized this perfect blog life had spilled over in to my relationships. How can anyone bond with you, when the real you is concealed in unrealistic expectation? While there were many contributing factors, I pinpointed that even my longest relationship wasn't completely authentic. I was so busy trying to be perfect that it was impossible for him to fall in love with me. No more. 

And then there was Felicia.

Listen. My Felicia appearance this Halloween was a statement of complete growth. I had no makeup on, my hair was braided up in to 4 very shrunken braids and I was picking Friday wedgies out of my crack all day. That's as raw as you can get. To be honest, it all started because I didn't want to do my hair but it ended up being far more significant for me.

Felicia was my second Halloween costume. My first was a chic interpretation of Prince. I walked in to the Purple Rain party with my makeup, curls and curves poppin. She did that! You couldn't tell me a thing. I felt completely comfortable and powerful.

While I was crafting the jacket for the Prince costume with a friend, I was simultaneously air drying my braid out for the curly doo that would polish off the look. We snapped the scene for another friend and when she brought the phone over to include me in her story, she said BYE FELICIA! It was funny but I was lightweight mortified. How could you compare me to this disheveled character? My friend suggested that I actually rock the costume at work on Monday and my immediate thought was you must be out your mind.

But then, like all of the other little ways, God conveyed that this fear of being Felicia in public was also silly and that I had to conquer it. So, I swiftly went to Goodwill and found the costume in 10 minutes for under $7. I washed it, cut the collar, braided my hair up and BOOM...Felicia was in the house.

The reactions were hilarious. A broad spectrum of who the heck is she supposed to be to that is the best Halloween costume I have ever seen. Walking around the office naked was a great feat but that social media realm was a whole other story. With this one Felicia post I would exterminate the perfect existence that I had crafted for years.

So with anxiety in my chest, I did my best Felicia impression, captured the photos and posted them. For all intents and purposes, I was frolicking nude in a field of followers.

And guess what. It got WAY more response than the Prince costume. People recognize real and they respect it. That was the realist Alicia they ever known. Applause.

It all comes down to this: The Alicia on the left is the same Alicia on the right. You must rock with both to be truly authentic. Both portraits are beautiful together and beautiful apart. Neither of them are perfect and it's impossible for them to be. Every unique aspect is an imperfectly picked accumulation of the real you that should never be suppressed out of necessity. 

Those are commanding, true words that I am on a mission to live by. I won't be this strong every day, but with every fear I overcome I get closer to living in my purpose and being the person that God created me to be. The person that God built to be loved in her entirety. The woman that won't let perfectionism block her from her blessings.

You will certainly see pretty photos adorned with variations of hair and makeup on this blog but the most beautiful thing is, there will be absolutely nothing perfect about them.

Say hi to Felicia and all of her gorgeous imperfections. She's here for it. She's here for it all.

About Last Night...

Like the new tee? Click the picture to order or click SHOP above:-) Photo Credit:  Delvin Wilborn .

Like the new tee? Click the picture to order or click SHOP above:-) Photo Credit: Delvin Wilborn.

First and foremost…last night was amazing! All of your support and well wishes for the debut of the Tallest Virgin in the World pilot means the world to me. Overall I was very pleased with the episode and completely in awe of the opportunity that God has given me to show the real life of a tall, single, virgin. I can’t wait to see what happens next!

However, I do want to make one thing clear…

My virginity is very important to me. I am looking for love, marriage and THEN sharing everything with the love of my life which includes my virginity. I am saving it for him and only him. I am not in a rush to lose it but giving myself a time frame to find love is something that I am trying because it makes me step outside of my dating comfort zone and approach finding love in a different way than I have in the past. If it works, amazing! If it doesn’t, on to the next plan. Regardless, I can’t wait to share every step with you.

Again, thank you for everything! Please put in those prayers that it gets picked up for series and I will be sure to keep you updated:)

You are amazing...I couldn't do this without you!