inspiration

One Giant Night

Photo by  Nikki Notarte

Photo by Nikki Notarte

Today is a GIANT day for many reasons..

1. Season 3 of My Giant Life on TLC premieres TONIGHT at 10/9c! I am blessed to have been added to the cast. I am proud to be the first African American cast member and hope that ALL women find inspiration through the lives of the women on the show.

2. I am stepping ALL THE WAY outside my comfort zone. Listen, putting your story in the hands of someone else is completely uncomfortable. It has stretched me and in turn I have grown in ways that I never would have. I now see the beauty in being uncomfortable and I know that no matter what comes out of this show, that I will be better in the end and God will ultimately use it for my good. It certainly will not look that way that I think it should, but I rest in the fact that it will be exactly what it needs to be.

3. I get to share my story on a major level. I was built to tell my story. It's part of my purpose. This opportunity was mapped out for me before I was even born. Having the faith to be so vulnerable in front of hundreds of thousands of people is a step of obedience. I am blessed to have been given this responsibility. If I inspire just one person from this show, my transparency will have been worth it.

4. This is a huge step in loving myself completely. Man...when ya girl saw the trailer I was like ummmm that's not the way I look! I freaked out. I wasn't used to seeing myself with natural hair (as I stopped wearing a weave a short time before the filming), the angles aren't the most flattering and I indeed look taller than everyone else. Well Alicia, I hate to break it to you (in my sarcastic voice) but you are. See, we tend to only show the world our best angles. We can scream we love ourselves from the mountain tops until the perspective changes. Can your confidence remain strong despite an unsavory viewpoint? Will you continue to stay resilient despite what others think and say? Without a doubt, this is a test of self-love and I'm here to pass it.

5. It's an accomplishment. It took a lot of work to get to this point and really, this is just the beginning. I'm going to work harder than ever but tomorrow is a time to celebrate this milestone in my journey.

6. I get to share this win with all of you. God has given me a community that I share every accomplishment with. I am honored to be on this journey with friends and family which includes you. We are standing Talll every day, in every way together and today is no different. Thank you for your support. It means the world to me!

Those are just some of the many reasons that today is truly a giant of a day. Check out the preview below as well as a segment that I did with Right this minute previewing tonight's premiere. I am blessed to have had many opportunities to tell my story which I will share with you soon!

See you tonight at 10/9c...it's going to be a wild ride!

Let God

Style posts have taken over my life for some years now. People don't understand how much work they really are. Imagine every outfit you have worn in a 2 week span, constructed, gathered and shot in a single shoot. It's taxing. While this style schedule has been draining, this post is the first time in a long time that I actually had fun doing one.

In the past I put so much pressure on myself to look perfect, have the perfect on trend clothes and obsessed about angles. I was unknowingly creating an image that I could never live up to. I was doing you a disservice and I apologize for that. 

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I would toil over every detail and it was taxing.

No more.

Whenever I shoot these from now on, I will just let them unfold organically. Those veins on my hand will be poppin. If a hair is out of place, that is where it will sit. If my nails don't match, oh well. If I don't feel like rockin a trend, I won't. I will no longer push outside ideals of what I think I should be. That drug no longer has a place here.

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For the past 6 months especially I have been stretched to the hilt. I have found out so many things about myself. I love the beautiful things and am repairing the ugly ones. My confidence is a constant werk in progress. It ebbs and flows. I don't want to preach that it is always positive. While our confidence is always there, no doubt there are days when it's exausted.

There will be many more days where I will need to build my strength. This doesn't make me weak, it makes me human.

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And really I need to stop caring about what you think. I found myself caring more about your thoughts of my content than the purpose behind the pictures and words. 

I absolutely enjoy sharing our stories and beautiful comments about life. It is one of my favorite things about being a blogger but I need to shed the act of caring what you and other people think. The only opinion that should matter is God's. He built me, He gave me my purpose and has made me exactly who I am. He and He alone is who I should be concerned with. I love you and will listen to anything you have to say but at the end of the day, He is the only opinion that matters. To fully live my life, I must walk tall in this fact every single day.

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Sweatshirt - STUZO Clothing / Tall Mom Jeans - ASOS /Glasses - Opaque Eyewear/Kicks - Nike via Nordstrom Rack  Photo credit:  Ashdav Photo

Sweatshirt - STUZO Clothing/Tall Mom Jeans - ASOS/Glasses - Opaque Eyewear/Kicks - Nike via Nordstrom Rack

Photo credit: Ashdav Photo

This is a revelation that came out of a 14 day period of non-stop anxiety about the show. When I dropped the trailer, anxiety enveloped every being of my body. I didn't like the reactions of some people, I didn't like the way I looked with my natural hair (silly yet real thought), questioned the telling of my story and a hundred other completely fabricated things. I built a false mountain out of a non-existent molehill.

I relied on my own view of the situation instead of relying on God's principles and promises for my life. He has given me this opportunity, told me to do it and will do great things with it despite what my view of it may be. Our steps of faith are hard and often confusing but lead to God's plan that is always better than anything we could ever piece together. 

I say all of that to say this...stop trying to control your life and let God take the lead. Work on giving Him the reigns for good. Your life is strategically unfolding in the way that He wants it to. Get out of your own way and certainly get out of His. Listen to Him and unapologetically walk with Him. Be yourself, learn, grow, let go and let God be who He is. 

My Life: The World's Tallest Virgin

I am so excited to share this with you...MODE featured my story in their My Life series!

I am honored to have been chosen as one of the people in the series. I believe we are all built to tell our stories and should share them in any way that we can. A huge thank you to MODE for giving me this platform to share my voice.

I will let the video speak for itself (I would love to know what you think) but here is a breakdown of what I wore in the piece:

TTYA X LTS Denim Jumpsuit  - Long Tall Sally/ TTYA X LTS Bobble Trim Crop Top  - Long Tall Sally
Sports Contrast Long Sleeve Running Top  - Long Tall Sally/ Sports Fluoro Stripe Leggings  - Long Tall Sally/ LTS Rio Sneakers  - Long Tall Sally  Thank you for training me Lisa:-) Check out her amazing  BETTER BODY website!

Sports Contrast Long Sleeve Running Top - Long Tall Sally/Sports Fluoro Stripe Leggings - Long Tall Sally/LTS Rio Sneakers - Long Tall Sally

Thank you for training me Lisa:-) Check out her amazing BETTER BODY website!

L'amour De Hauteur Shirt - Height Goddess /Skinny Jeans - The Buckle  Candice is always there for me...check out her awesome accessories line  CANDID ART !

L'amour De Hauteur Shirt - Height Goddess/Skinny Jeans - The Buckle

Candice is always there for me...check out her awesome accessories line CANDID ART!

Kacy Maxi Dress  - Height Goddess/ Heart Necklace  - Candid Art/Hat - Forever 21

Kacy Maxi Dress - Height Goddess/Heart Necklace - Candid Art/Hat - Forever 21

Marilyn Dress - Alloy Apparel Tall /Pumps - Jessica Simpson  I work with some amazing photographers and  Meg Russ  is one of them.  Check out her website HERE.

Marilyn Dress - Alloy Apparel Tall/Pumps - Jessica Simpson

I work with some amazing photographers and Meg Russ is one of them. Check out her website HERE.

High Rise 38" Leather Skinnies  - Amalli Talli/ Tall Bodysuit  - TTYA London/ Tall Vest  - ASOS/Shades and necklace - Forever 21

High Rise 38" Leather Skinnies - Amalli Talli/Tall Bodysuit - TTYA London/Tall Vest - ASOS/Shades and necklace - Forever 21

Tall Bodysuit - TTYA London /Skirt - H&M/Shoes - Payless/Necklace - Forever 21

Tall Bodysuit - TTYA London/Skirt - H&M/Shoes - Payless/Necklace - Forever 21

Last but certainly not least... hair and makeup by Nikki Notarte . My ride or die!

Last but certainly not least...hair and makeup by Nikki Notarte. My ride or die!

Thanks again to MODE and everyone who made this possible. I appreciate everything that you do for me to share my voice and stand tall every day, in every way!

In The Slow Lane

I am sure you have noticed that I have been posting a lot less lately both on my site and on social media. There are many reasons for this but the main and most important one is that I was on a Daniel Fast.

What is a Daniel Fast you ask?

The Daniel Fast is a spiritually based partial fast that is usually 21 days of abstaining from foods specified unclean by God in the Laws of Moses. During the fast you are to focus on God and be in intense prayer, Bible study and reflection. The intention of the fast is not about the diet yet the change in diet is a tool of focus to draw you closer to God.

So what do I have to give up?

Let’s focus on the positive shall we? This is what is included in your diet during the 21 day period:

-All fruits

-All vegetables

-All whole grains (including whole wheat pastas and tortillas)

-All nuts and seeds

-All legumes

-All quality oils

-All unsweetened milks derived from nuts (i.e. coconut, almond etc.)

-All forms of pure water

-Tofu and soy products

-Vinegar

-All seasonings, salt, herbs and spices

-All Vegetable based protein powders with no sugar additives

*Quick Daniel Fast Tip: Chipotle and Jamba Juice are both Daniel Fast friendly. I wouldn’t recommend eating them often during the fast but they are great in a pinch. Jamba Juice has all fruit smoothies and Chipotle has sofritas instead of meat. Add their grilled veggies, brown rice, guacamole and other natural ingredients for a filling on-the-go meal.   

I am certainly not a chef but here are some of the random things I made and ate while on the fast: Vegetable based protein (you can find at whole foods and Target. For the best results, blend it with peanut butter, almond milk and fruit)/Kale, fresh tomato, walnut and garlic almond milk sauce over whole grain penne pasta/Hummus with toasted pine nuts/ Daniel Fast cookies / Preparation for the fast (super important) /Almond butter, bananas and strawberries on a brown rice cake/ Daniel Fast Chili  with a kale, apple, balsamic-olive oil salad and  strawberry, lime and mint water /Whole grain oats with almond milk, almond butter, cinnamon, pecans, blueberries and raisins/Delallo Organic Whole Grain Pasta (which was my favorite brand on the fast)/For more Daniel Fast recipes, click  HERE  or the photo.

I am certainly not a chef but here are some of the random things I made and ate while on the fast: Vegetable based protein (you can find at whole foods and Target. For the best results, blend it with peanut butter, almond milk and fruit)/Kale, fresh tomato, walnut and garlic almond milk sauce over whole grain penne pasta/Hummus with toasted pine nuts/Daniel Fast cookies/Preparation for the fast (super important)/Almond butter, bananas and strawberries on a brown rice cake/Daniel Fast Chili with a kale, apple, balsamic-olive oil salad and strawberry, lime and mint water/Whole grain oats with almond milk, almond butter, cinnamon, pecans, blueberries and raisins/Delallo Organic Whole Grain Pasta (which was my favorite brand on the fast)/For more Daniel Fast recipes, click HERE or the photo.

And that my friend is it. No dairy, sugar, coffee, meat, sweeteners, leavened breads, solid fats, fried refined or processed foods.  I know this list is daunting but whatever you do, don’t stop reading now.

I can’t even lie. The first 3 days were hard. I found myself completely addicted to coffee. It was sad really. I come from a family with addictive tendencies and because of that, I have never tried even a sip of alcohol or any type of drug. I don’t want to start because I never want to finish. By no means am I comparing coffee to alcohol and drugs but as soon as I stopped drinking it, it became very apparent that my body was addicted to it. I had a terrible headache and literally couldn’t keep my eyes open. It was a humbling reminder that gluttony comes in many forms, even in a sweet cup of coffee.

Throughout the 21 days I dropped 11 pounds and after the first 3 days had an amazing amount of energy that I was not expecting. My skin cleared up and I really enjoyed finding different ways to cook the food that was included in the fast. To be honest, the nutrition part of the fast was quite easy for me. As a matter of fact, I plan to extend it in many ways. While I will enjoy sugar, meat, coffee and fried foods from time to time, giving them up showed me how much I do not consistently need them. 

The spiritual part however, was a bit more challenging and incredibly revealing. As I dove in to the plan, I began reading the Bible more and really praying specific prayers about things I am struggling with. I became frustrated because this practice is not something I should do just on the fast. This is something I should do in my everyday life. Why does it take a fast for me to spend consistent, quality time with God? It shouldn’t and moving forward it will not. For me, this spiritual slap in the face in itself made the fast successful. I love God, he is the center of my life, but I need to spend more time with Him plain and simple.

Another thing began to occur (especially towards the end of the fast)…I started being attacked from every angle.  A string of disappointing, soul stirring things arose that just baffled me. I was putting in the work, so why was this happening? Honestly, I let them get the best of me until I realized that a worthwhile walk will never be easy. This walk with HIM was never promised to be clear. In fact, Christian’s are targets for challenges. Tests and trails are the sand paper of our lives that shape us in to the exact person that God needs us to be. This is a lesson that we continually learn throughout our life and I certainly heard it loud and clear on this fast.

Overall, the fast revealed weaknesses in me that need a heck of a lot more training both spiritually and nutritionally. It slowed me down, showed me myself and I am incredibly grateful for every single moment of it. Ignorance is not bliss. Many people walk through life with spiritual blinders on thinking that they are right with the Lord, while all the while your steps are going in the wrong direction. No matter where you are in your walk with Christ, take time to slow down and assess your relationship with Him. This time I did this with the Daniel Fast and we must live our lives doing this in various, continual ways. I look forward to sharing in this process with you!

For more on the Daniel Fast, this was my go-to site for information and recipes. It really helped me throughout my 21 days and I hope that it helps you too! THE ULTIMATE DANIEL FAST.

Stand Tall every day, in every way.

Steady on the Track

Photo credit:  Shannon Warf . Original post:  Skirt Spotting .

Photo credit: Shannon Warf. Original post: Skirt Spotting.

Recently, I had a close friend tell me that a concern that some men may have when it comes to dating me is that I (as a virgin) would not be able to satisfy them.

That statement hurt me to my core. I cried. I cried a lot. It was a gut puncher. How could something that I think is so special, be a potential reason why I am still single? I have definitely felt that way many times but never had someone say it to me in such a direct manner. So many things went through my mind until it hit me…

If anyone should be concerned about being satisfied, it should be me.

You see, the misconception that virgins have no idea what they are doing is completely false. If anyone knows their bodies well and know what they like…it’s a virgin. We have had ample time to get acquainted with self and furthermore we have had a plethora of time to make a complete and thorough list of what we want to do. With all of that said, it is a gamble for ME to bank on 1 (one) person to be able to satisfy all of these wants and needs. How do I know that this person has what it takes to give me all of the wonders that I deserve and have been so patiently waiting for?

I don’t and that is a risk that I am willing to take. Saving my virginity for my husband is not just about sex. Do I want to have sex? Of course (and badly). My virginity is hard to keep. It is something that I battle to maintain on a daily basis. It has been tested a time or twenty but at the end of the day the goal is to keep this for him and only him. I guarantee, whomever he is, will deserve it and you better believe will not have a question about the amazing gift that I have worked so hard to protect and deliver.

My tears turned into a valuable lesson. While in no way do I think my friend intentionally meant harm, a statement like that from anyone shouldn't make you feel bad about your goal, rather it should validate that you were specifically picked to handle it. Not everyone can handle or recognize the value in an objective that you are pursuing and that is OK. Continue to pursue it anyway. It is your vision, not theirs. Listen to what people have to say but never let their misgivings about your plan deter you from attaining something that God put in your heart. He didn't place it in theirs, He placed it in yours so keep at it despite the naysayers. Often a person who is questioning your pursuit is doing it because they don't have the strength to begin one on their own.  

You are built to win. Stay steady on the track. Don't let mere words derail what God has already guaranteed.

Fighting Lessons

First and foremost, thank you so much for your support of The Tallest Virgin in the World. Your emails and social media messages meant and mean the world to me. It received good ratings and we are still waiting on pins and needles to see if it goes to series! I will definitely keep you updated.

With that said, I have to admit that I have been on somewhat of a low, after that amazing high of seeing something I worked so hard for, coming to fruition. In so many ways, I worked my entire life to gain a platform, such as a national television program, to show women everywhere that they are beautiful JUST the way they are and furthermore are created specifically for a purpose. Then it drops and…nothing.

Now, I know that God is working behind the scenes and that His plan is the only plan but right now I am being attacked in so many ways. From personal to professional, I have been tested in the days since the pilot has aired. I was at a very high point of frustration when it hit me…

When God wants you to grow and prepare for the next step in your life, He makes you uncomfortable.

Yep. He does it on purpose.

Think about it. If you were happy and comfortable why move? Why grow? We would never make a change if there was no reason to. That uncomfortable state is a tool God uses to craft you into what he wants and needs you to be.

So if you are uncomfortable like me, don’t stew in it. Learn from it and prepare for your breakthrough. That frustration is a step to unlocking a new path that will lead to everything God has planned for you. Don’t give up.  It’s hard rounding that corner but think about all of the effort it took to get there.

Don’t fight the lesson, learn it.