goals

One Giant Night

Photo by  Nikki Notarte

Photo by Nikki Notarte

Today is a GIANT day for many reasons..

1. Season 3 of My Giant Life on TLC premieres TONIGHT at 10/9c! I am blessed to have been added to the cast. I am proud to be the first African American cast member and hope that ALL women find inspiration through the lives of the women on the show.

2. I am stepping ALL THE WAY outside my comfort zone. Listen, putting your story in the hands of someone else is completely uncomfortable. It has stretched me and in turn I have grown in ways that I never would have. I now see the beauty in being uncomfortable and I know that no matter what comes out of this show, that I will be better in the end and God will ultimately use it for my good. It certainly will not look that way that I think it should, but I rest in the fact that it will be exactly what it needs to be.

3. I get to share my story on a major level. I was built to tell my story. It's part of my purpose. This opportunity was mapped out for me before I was even born. Having the faith to be so vulnerable in front of hundreds of thousands of people is a step of obedience. I am blessed to have been given this responsibility. If I inspire just one person from this show, my transparency will have been worth it.

4. This is a huge step in loving myself completely. Man...when ya girl saw the trailer I was like ummmm that's not the way I look! I freaked out. I wasn't used to seeing myself with natural hair (as I stopped wearing a weave a short time before the filming), the angles aren't the most flattering and I indeed look taller than everyone else. Well Alicia, I hate to break it to you (in my sarcastic voice) but you are. See, we tend to only show the world our best angles. We can scream we love ourselves from the mountain tops until the perspective changes. Can your confidence remain strong despite an unsavory viewpoint? Will you continue to stay resilient despite what others think and say? Without a doubt, this is a test of self-love and I'm here to pass it.

5. It's an accomplishment. It took a lot of work to get to this point and really, this is just the beginning. I'm going to work harder than ever but tomorrow is a time to celebrate this milestone in my journey.

6. I get to share this win with all of you. God has given me a community that I share every accomplishment with. I am honored to be on this journey with friends and family which includes you. We are standing Talll every day, in every way together and today is no different. Thank you for your support. It means the world to me!

Those are just some of the many reasons that today is truly a giant of a day. Check out the preview below as well as a segment that I did with Right this minute previewing tonight's premiere. I am blessed to have had many opportunities to tell my story which I will share with you soon!

See you tonight at 10/9c...it's going to be a wild ride!

Let God

Style posts have taken over my life for some years now. People don't understand how much work they really are. Imagine every outfit you have worn in a 2 week span, constructed, gathered and shot in a single shoot. It's taxing. While this style schedule has been draining, this post is the first time in a long time that I actually had fun doing one.

In the past I put so much pressure on myself to look perfect, have the perfect on trend clothes and obsessed about angles. I was unknowingly creating an image that I could never live up to. I was doing you a disservice and I apologize for that. 

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I would toil over every detail and it was taxing.

No more.

Whenever I shoot these from now on, I will just let them unfold organically. Those veins on my hand will be poppin. If a hair is out of place, that is where it will sit. If my nails don't match, oh well. If I don't feel like rockin a trend, I won't. I will no longer push outside ideals of what I think I should be. That drug no longer has a place here.

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For the past 6 months especially I have been stretched to the hilt. I have found out so many things about myself. I love the beautiful things and am repairing the ugly ones. My confidence is a constant werk in progress. It ebbs and flows. I don't want to preach that it is always positive. While our confidence is always there, no doubt there are days when it's exausted.

There will be many more days where I will need to build my strength. This doesn't make me weak, it makes me human.

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And really I need to stop caring about what you think. I found myself caring more about your thoughts of my content than the purpose behind the pictures and words. 

I absolutely enjoy sharing our stories and beautiful comments about life. It is one of my favorite things about being a blogger but I need to shed the act of caring what you and other people think. The only opinion that should matter is God's. He built me, He gave me my purpose and has made me exactly who I am. He and He alone is who I should be concerned with. I love you and will listen to anything you have to say but at the end of the day, He is the only opinion that matters. To fully live my life, I must walk tall in this fact every single day.

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Sweatshirt - STUZO Clothing / Tall Mom Jeans - ASOS /Glasses - Opaque Eyewear/Kicks - Nike via Nordstrom Rack  Photo credit:  Ashdav Photo

Sweatshirt - STUZO Clothing/Tall Mom Jeans - ASOS/Glasses - Opaque Eyewear/Kicks - Nike via Nordstrom Rack

Photo credit: Ashdav Photo

This is a revelation that came out of a 14 day period of non-stop anxiety about the show. When I dropped the trailer, anxiety enveloped every being of my body. I didn't like the reactions of some people, I didn't like the way I looked with my natural hair (silly yet real thought), questioned the telling of my story and a hundred other completely fabricated things. I built a false mountain out of a non-existent molehill.

I relied on my own view of the situation instead of relying on God's principles and promises for my life. He has given me this opportunity, told me to do it and will do great things with it despite what my view of it may be. Our steps of faith are hard and often confusing but lead to God's plan that is always better than anything we could ever piece together. 

I say all of that to say this...stop trying to control your life and let God take the lead. Work on giving Him the reigns for good. Your life is strategically unfolding in the way that He wants it to. Get out of your own way and certainly get out of His. Listen to Him and unapologetically walk with Him. Be yourself, learn, grow, let go and let God be who He is. 

Steady on the Track

Photo credit:  Shannon Warf . Original post:  Skirt Spotting .

Photo credit: Shannon Warf. Original post: Skirt Spotting.

Recently, I had a close friend tell me that a concern that some men may have when it comes to dating me is that I (as a virgin) would not be able to satisfy them.

That statement hurt me to my core. I cried. I cried a lot. It was a gut puncher. How could something that I think is so special, be a potential reason why I am still single? I have definitely felt that way many times but never had someone say it to me in such a direct manner. So many things went through my mind until it hit me…

If anyone should be concerned about being satisfied, it should be me.

You see, the misconception that virgins have no idea what they are doing is completely false. If anyone knows their bodies well and know what they like…it’s a virgin. We have had ample time to get acquainted with self and furthermore we have had a plethora of time to make a complete and thorough list of what we want to do. With all of that said, it is a gamble for ME to bank on 1 (one) person to be able to satisfy all of these wants and needs. How do I know that this person has what it takes to give me all of the wonders that I deserve and have been so patiently waiting for?

I don’t and that is a risk that I am willing to take. Saving my virginity for my husband is not just about sex. Do I want to have sex? Of course (and badly). My virginity is hard to keep. It is something that I battle to maintain on a daily basis. It has been tested a time or twenty but at the end of the day the goal is to keep this for him and only him. I guarantee, whomever he is, will deserve it and you better believe will not have a question about the amazing gift that I have worked so hard to protect and deliver.

My tears turned into a valuable lesson. While in no way do I think my friend intentionally meant harm, a statement like that from anyone shouldn't make you feel bad about your goal, rather it should validate that you were specifically picked to handle it. Not everyone can handle or recognize the value in an objective that you are pursuing and that is OK. Continue to pursue it anyway. It is your vision, not theirs. Listen to what people have to say but never let their misgivings about your plan deter you from attaining something that God put in your heart. He didn't place it in theirs, He placed it in yours so keep at it despite the naysayers. Often a person who is questioning your pursuit is doing it because they don't have the strength to begin one on their own.  

You are built to win. Stay steady on the track. Don't let mere words derail what God has already guaranteed.

Career Girls

I had the pleasure of being interviewed by an incredible non-profit, Career Girls. The organization's goal is to prepare young women at an early age to attack their goals, dreams and future careers. Here is more about the remarkable work that they do:

It isn’t enough to tell young girls to “dream big” or “aim high.” Without proper encouragement, or concrete methods for turning their abilities into tangible careers, many young women can simply flounder in the educational system. Career Girls is an organization dedicated to providing young girls of all income levels and ethnic backgrounds with the academic tools and support they need to achieve their professional aspirations. We do this by providing a “real world” context for a child’s academic studies, specifically through interviews with positive female role models and a comprehensive collection of easy-to-follow educational resources.

By hearing from successful women they can identify with, and learning about the educational paths these professionals took to reach their goals, female students can take direct steps toward nurturing their own intellects, skills and talents in order to create fulfilling and productive lives of their choosing.

It is an amazing, inspiring resource for young women with a plethora of career choices to reference, amazing tools and priceless information. I am honored that they chose me as one of the women to share about their professional and personal paths. Below are some of the clips from the interview about my tall experience, TallSWAG and life advice for young girls. You can watch the full interview HERE.

TALL EXPERIENCE

FINDING MY VOICE

ABOUT TALLSWAG

TALL GIRL FASHION TIP

HEELS

A TALL BEST

FAITH AND OBSTACLES

LIFE ADVICE FOR YOUNG GIRLS

Are You Working Someone Else's Dream?

Do you feel like this on a daily basis? OK, maybe not exactly this but I'm sure you get the point of this cheesy photo. Mine would be more colorful, fashion forward and overall AMAZING. What would yours look like? Cheesy photo courtesy of Dream-symbols.com.Last week I was told that I am working on someone else’s dream. Long pause. Still paused. Stuck.

I have been working for a professional sports team for about six years now.  I enjoy my job (most of the time).  I am blessed to have it BUT this statement brought up a set of questions that were always there but buried under the ‘I gotta pay my bills’ mentality;

What are you working towards?

Would you be happy with the end result of your job?  After tirelessly working to get to the top, would you feel satisfied and accomplished?  If the answer is no, you are working on someone else’s dream.

If your job became an unpaid internship, would you still work it?

A lot of us worked internships to gain experience.  I don’t know about you, but most of mine were unpaid.  I worked them because I knew the end result would inevitably get me to where I needed to be. This should still be the case. Unless you are living your end result, you are still working to get there. If you wouldn’t work your job for free, is it something you should be working?

Do you consider work, work?

When you wake-up in the morning, if your thoughts are anything like this; “eh, I gotta go to freakin work AGAIN,” you may need to reassess the situation.  When you live YOUR dream, you don’t work and you certainly don’t dread doing what you do for 8+ hours a day. 

After breaking these hard hitting questions down, I am sure you have a better idea of what dream you are working on. 

If you are working on your dream, let me shake your hand!  You are one of the few that are living the way you are supposed to.  Keep it up!

If you are not, you can! Follow this step and you will be where you want to be:

  1. Step out on faith.

Yep. That’s it. The shortest, hardest step ever.  You know what you want. Get out there and DO IT!  God wouldn’t put it in your heart, if he wasn’t going to see you through to getting it, so what is stopping you?

Truth time: this is for me, as much as it is for you.  I am certainly taking steps to live my dream but having the complete faith to jump in, that’s another story.  It shouldn’t be hard.  But it is. 

We can do it!