Recently, I had a close friend tell me that a concern that some men may have when it comes to dating me is that I (as a virgin) would not be able to satisfy them.
That statement hurt me to my core. I cried. I cried a lot. It was a gut puncher. How could something that I think is so special, be a potential reason why I am still single? I have definitely felt that way many times but never had someone say it to me in such a direct manner. So many things went through my mind until it hit me…
If anyone should be concerned about being satisfied, it should be me.
You see, the misconception that virgins have no idea what they are doing is completely false. If anyone knows their bodies well and know what they like…it’s a virgin. We have had ample time to get acquainted with self and furthermore we have had a plethora of time to make a complete and thorough list of what we want to do. With all of that said, it is a gamble for ME to bank on 1 (one) person to be able to satisfy all of these wants and needs. How do I know that this person has what it takes to give me all of the wonders that I deserve and have been so patiently waiting for?
I don’t and that is a risk that I am willing to take. Saving my virginity for my husband is not just about sex. Do I want to have sex? Of course (and badly). My virginity is hard to keep. It is something that I battle to maintain on a daily basis. It has been tested a time or twenty but at the end of the day the goal is to keep this for him and only him. I guarantee, whomever he is, will deserve it and you better believe will not have a question about the amazing gift that I have worked so hard to protect and deliver.
My tears turned into a valuable lesson. While in no way do I think my friend intentionally meant harm, a statement like that from anyone shouldn't make you feel bad about your goal, rather it should validate that you were specifically picked to handle it. Not everyone can handle or recognize the value in an objective that you are pursuing and that is OK. Continue to pursue it anyway. It is your vision, not theirs. Listen to what people have to say but never let their misgivings about your plan deter you from attaining something that God put in your heart. He didn't place it in theirs, He placed it in yours so keep at it despite the naysayers. Often a person who is questioning your pursuit is doing it because they don't have the strength to begin one on their own.
You are built to win. Stay steady on the track. Don't let mere words derail what God has already guaranteed.
Last week I was told that I am working on someone else’s dream. Long pause. Still paused. Stuck.
I have been working for a professional sports team for about six years now. I enjoy my job (most of the time). I am blessed to have it BUT this statement brought up a set of questions that were always there but buried under the ‘I gotta pay my bills’ mentality;
What are you working towards?
Would you be happy with the end result of your job? After tirelessly working to get to the top, would you feel satisfied and accomplished? If the answer is no, you are working on someone else’s dream.
If your job became an unpaid internship, would you still work it?
A lot of us worked internships to gain experience. I don’t know about you, but most of mine were unpaid. I worked them because I knew the end result would inevitably get me to where I needed to be. This should still be the case. Unless you are living your end result, you are still working to get there. If you wouldn’t work your job for free, is it something you should be working?
Do you consider work, work?
When you wake-up in the morning, if your thoughts are anything like this; “eh, I gotta go to freakin work AGAIN,” you may need to reassess the situation. When you live YOUR dream, you don’t work and you certainly don’t dread doing what you do for 8+ hours a day.
After breaking these hard hitting questions down, I am sure you have a better idea of what dream you are working on.
If you are working on your dream, let me shake your hand! You are one of the few that are living the way you are supposed to. Keep it up!
If you are not, you can! Follow this step and you will be where you want to be:
- Step out on faith.
Yep. That’s it. The shortest, hardest step ever. You know what you want. Get out there and DO IT! God wouldn’t put it in your heart, if he wasn’t going to see you through to getting it, so what is stopping you?
Truth time: this is for me, as much as it is for you. I am certainly taking steps to live my dream but having the complete faith to jump in, that’s another story. It shouldn’t be hard. But it is.
We can do it!