To say that I have been wallowing in a bit of self-pity would be an accurate statement.
Yes, it is true that I have had some incredibly uncomfortable and unfair things happen to me in the past couple of months BUT at the end of the day it’s my responsibility to turn lemons into lemonade. I can either swim in the acidic waters that aspire to decay or use the lesson to propel me to the very platform God created just for me.
I have literally done this in every other facet of my life. From using bullying to fuel my confidence to abstaining from drinking because of a family disposition to alcoholism, I have taken the best parts of the bad to build the good. Why not this time?
I was hit with many things at once and completely punted outside of my comfort zone. It was a potent mixture of seemingly creative failures, death, racism, sexism and a shattered heart. All unfolded like dominoes. This could be viewed as an excuse but fact: it’s really hard to get up when you are constantly being sucker punched.
When the punches stopped coming as frequently, I just sat there. Instead of taking a breath and preparing to bob, weave and hit back, I literally prepared myself for another blow with no recourse. It was a side of me that I didn’t recognize. I don’t like that Alicia.
Slowly but surely, healing started to occur. It’s different for everyone. There is no real formula. I simply started consistently focusing more on who God is than the problems that were coming my way. He surpasses all of them so what was I trippin about? Nevertheless, I still have that last bit of saltiness to work out but I wanted to share with you 6 lessons that I am learning while making my lemonade this time around (there will be many batches love):
1) Change reveals what you need to work on, keep close and cut out. When you aren’t the same, and things around you change, everything will start telling on itself. It will scream from the mountain tops I’m not for you, I’m fake, stay away from me, I actually really care for you…whether it be a person, place or thing, it will let you know. This could potentially hurt in the beginning but trust that it will be beneficial for you in the end. You don’t want to carry unnecessary baggage to the top.
2) Take a breath. In a world so focused on pushing ahead, this doesn’t always apply to life changes. Sometimes you propel yourself farther in the long run by taking a beat, healing and then moving forward. A wounded walk is more belabored than a strong one. Recharge and then charge.
3) Forgive but don’t forget. Yes it happened but are you going to let it continue to handcuff you? Forgive and file the lesson away. Those experiences occurred for a reason. Let the pain go but by all means keep the message.
4) Ask for help. Sitting in your hurt will only wound you further. Call up your strongest allies and let them carry you for a bit. There is power in knowing when you need a hand to hold. God has placed them in your life for a reason. Draw some strength from their well.
5) Make failure the homey. Embrace it like you would a win. You cannot succeed without partaking in the other side. A path without failure is a false hustle. There is absolutely no way to make lemonade without the sting of the lemon. Use the failure, don’t let the failure use you.*in my Diamond voice*
6) Remove yourself from the madness. Sometimes the lesson is that we didn’t listen. God has been telling us for weeks, months and years that it is time to move and we just refuse to do it. You can also be so used to an uncomfortable state, that you find comfort in it. Thus, He simply let’s scenarios occur that will ultimately make you do it. Comfort is a quiet killer of dreams. Pray. Ask God for the next move and DO IT. Don’t delay His plan with your worldly dependencies.
Stress point: it’s a work in progress. I feel incredibly strong writing this but who knows how I will feel when the next curve ball is blasted my way. I pray that the lessons stick or at least reveal themselves after my first reaction. It truly takes time. Be gentle with yourself and embrace the fact that no matter what is going on, God is orchestrating it for your good. That my friends, is one thing you can always count on. Always.
Ok. Now it’s time for my annoyingly positive end remarks that are absolutely true but sound like nails on a chalkboard when you are nestled in a valley moment. Get ready to unlock your ears and put your rose colored glasses on…
Stay strong. You were carefully built for this. His promises are certain. Use this time wisely. Let it mold you. It’s not the end, it’s the uncomfortable key to unlock the beginning. This too will inevitably make you stronger than ever.